4-1-1999
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In my last "opinion" column I basically stated what I think many musical patrons in the area believe to be true. That the local scene, although rocking at times, can definitely use a huge "variety enema."
This month I was thinking about writing another column along the same vein as the previous one. I had all my arguments lined up, and was about to put them down on paper when I had "THE DREAM."
THE DREAM:
This by far is the weirdest, non drug-induced dream I've ever had. It starts
off with me frolicking around in the biggest McDonald's play land in the
world. Seriously, this thing was the size of a football field. For the better
part of the dream I crawled around muti-colored plastic tubes conjoined with
slides and platforms.
After a few slides into a huge pool of multicolored plastic balls, I happened to glance across the room and notice the largest slot car setup I've ever seen. This thing must have been 20 yards in scale and had plenty of loop-de-loops and jumps.
I approached the track and sat in a chair that appeared from no where. I grabbed the controller and started racing my little race car on the circuit. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that part of the room began to transform itself into a scene from "Evil Dead 2" the movie.
There was now a trap door in the floor leading to an unseen basement. As I looked at the door I fully expected to see the long-necked witch from the movie to pop out and start screaming "I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul!!" Instead of a witch, Lisa Kudrou--the blond, ditsy woman from the TV show Friends burst through the trap door in a flower print day dress. Just then, a huge gray vortex appeared above and sucked Lisa and I into it.
As we flew though the air, I looked over at miss Kudrou and couldn't help thinking about how bad a job of acting she was doing. I mean, she was supposed to be this big scary deformed witch. Instead she was this California Valley Girl witch saying, "Like.. I'll swallow your soul." I think I started laughing at some point. --End.
THE GUITAR
Well, since my dream didn't have much to do with music I think I'll describe
a weird experience I had at a local music store this past week.
I was on my lunch break with fellow Athens News AMS writer Dan Driefus. We had just finished eating at the Pub and were about to head back to the office when I pointed out to Dan that we have 10 minutes left. So we decided to cross the street and check out Blue Eagle.
We browsed around and ended up taking a few of the guitars off the wall for a test drive. I ended up crossing the room and looking at the Tab Books when I glanced back and noticed a red and white strat copy near the counter.
I thought to myself, "wow, that looks like my old guitar." I even took note of the fact that it was a "Series 10"--just like my old one. However, it still hadn't penetrated my thick skull that the guitar was indeed my old guitar. It wasn't until I noticed the single tan pickup which I had installed that I fully realized it was my old guitar.
I left my red fender copy at a former bandmates house. The band, Fred's front Wheel, broke up months ago. I had fully intended on going back for my old Series 10. I just couldn't get myself to go back and get it. You see, the band had broken up under a bad funk and everything was just awkward.
Anyhow, I ended up getting the guy behind the counter to call the person who had my old guitar on consignment. It was a friend of a frind of my former bandmate. I thought, "How did he get hold of my guitar?" Well, after some talking, I manages to get it back.
When I got home, I took a look at the price tag and noticed that they were selling my old start-copy for $175. I laughed for nearly 10 minutes strait.
I bought the thing brand new from Blue Eagle in 1993 for $112. I still have the reciept. Now, it's worth $175. That pickup I put in it must have been made of gold!
I like the guitar, but the thing can't stay in tune for more than 5 minutes. Strange as it may seem, the only reason why I still have it is for messing around with alternate tunings. My main axe is an Ibanez with a double floyd-rose whammy. An Ibanez will stay in tune forever but they are a bitch and a half to get in tune the first time. I couldn't imagine trying alternate tunings on that puppy.
Moral 1 of this story: Never leave your gear behind.
Moral 2 of the story: before you buy anything on consignment--look up it's blue book price. Some things are just way, way, way overpriced. My old "series 10" for example...
